It wasn't long ago that I was teaching junior high and mentoring young girls in my dance team and classes. I knew the girls needed all the extra help they could get given their circumstances. But I often struggled with where I would find answers myself. I was giving what I had, but wasn't sure how to find someone who could give me the wisdom that I needed to keep going. I needed a good friend, an older, wiser friend to help.
Fortunately, I believe God knew what I needed and strategically placed some women in my path that befriended me. At different times, I've drawn on their wisdom and experience to help navigate the often treacherous waters of life. I think we all need friends who can act as mentors, as well as mentees...people we are reaching out to. I know it may seem hard and like an overwhelming task to reach out and build intentional friendships with others, but the truth is that it doesn't have to be.
Two authors, Connie Witt & Cathi Workman have teamed up to write That Makes Two of Us
What is lifestyle mentoring?
Lifestyle mentoring is basically an intentional friendship. A person who’s a little further ahead in life passes along their wisdom, experience, and care to a person just a few steps behind. The key to lifestyle mentoring is that it builds on existing relationships and fits in with your life - it’s not a program. (Cathi)
One of the things that I’ve learned about the next generation is that they really want relationship with older women. Some of these younger women don’t live near their families. Some of them don’t have relationship with their family. Some have both but would love to process something with someone besides their family. They are looking for someone who loves and cares about them. That is one of the keys to influencing this generation. Another thing I’ve learned is that authenticity is key to really influence this generation. If you’re not willing to ‘come clean’ or be who you really are with them, don’t bother mentoring. They can see a fake a mile away. Our mistakes and ‘flaws’ are actually attractive to this generation. (Connie)
Many women wonder, “What do I have to offer?” What would you say to them?
Women today seem to think that we have to be at some unidentifiable level before we can start pouring into someone else. I continuously hear the response, ‘I can’t mentor, I NEED a mentor’ … What if everyone felt that way? No one would pour into anyone. But honestly, we ALL have things we can offer. God has taught us through our life circumstances. We’ve all had hurts and heartaches. Maybe you’ve gone through an illness or a break-up in a relationship. What did God teach you through those times? Maybe there was a goal that you thought was unattainable, but you achieved it. How did you reach that goal and what did God teach you along the way? These things may seem insignificant to us, but to someone who is going through those same things, asking the same questions, looking for input into a relational crisis, these tidbits can be priceless. We all have a story. God wants us to share that story with others. (Connie)With busy schedules, how can we make time to develop these relationships?These questions address part of the reason for writing this book!!! First of all, start recognizing the relationships you ALREADY have in your life. Then start developing those relationships. Email is the best way to start. This isn’t intrusive or overwhelming. It’s safe! As the relationship progresses, ask her to have coffee or go to lunch. You just need to be willing to develop a friendship. This takes all the pressure off of trying to find someone … look for those that God has already connected you with … at your work, in a ministry you are currently involved with. (Connie)
I'd love to hear how you could develop this type of relationship OR how you already have!
